Should I stay or should I go? - The Clash

This song title will be used in a completely different context for the purpose of this blog entry.
Nonetheless, still quite relevant.

It's mid-January and the days have already started to become longer. I love leaving work at 5 and being able to see the sun! Definitely beats going to work in the dark at 8 in morning and leaving work only to re-greet the shadows of the night. After work, I took my regular route to Union Station through the concourse. Making my way to my Go train on platform 6, I always have the privilege of being able to gaze at the CN tower. I am entranced by it every time. It is the same ordinary CN tower I grew up around, never having had any special significance to me.. until last year.

The way I am now captivated by the famous Toronto monument reminds me very much of how I wholeheartedly admired the Eiffel tower. The first time I saw the Eiffel tower, I can still remember the pounding in my heart, the kind of pounding in your chest that lets you know one of your dreams have come true. Being a teenager who made her life all about France, obsessed with the language and culture, it was like having an out-of-body experience, knowing I was actually going to be living on French soil. The second time I visited Paris, I felt I was ready to visit a second home. Although, when I walked its streets, re-climbed its monuments, re-explored its museums and parks, I felt it had lost a bit of its charm. I instantly knew that on this second visit to my once beloved dream city, I had fallen out of love. And that was terrifying for me, because France was supposed to be my future - where my husband, my family, my career, and where my home would be. And all of a sudden, the appeal disappeared.

I find it highly intriguing that I would now experience that same initial love I had for Paris, with now the city I have lived in all my life. For as long as I can remember, I've always wanted to live abroad, in multiple places, for an extended period of time; but only giving Paris my piece of mind when it came to knowing where I would like to live permanently, at the end of my "travel-bug" adventures. But that is now crossed off the list. However, I'm still very open to other cities to reside in for good. San Francisco? New York? Chicago? LA? London, UK? I've actually been struck with the sudden desire for being engulfed in Canadian culture lately. Not Torontonian culture. But Canadian culture. So, Ottawa? Calgary? Edmonton? Vancouver? Yellowknife? Should I stay or should I go?

I know such a debate shouldn't be dealt with at my young age, as I still have a lot of studying and learning and traveling to do before figuring out where I'm going to settle with my own family. But what an exciting question to ponder!